6/12/26

Dear Friends,

Why an all-improvisational band?

It comes down to muscles.

Many of you remember I had an original “pop-noir” band called stephaniesid. Freud’s id. Setting sights on this proverbial component of the psyche was aspirational: I was at the end of a Master’s degree, sensing I had contorted my outward self for a little too long in order to step thru the required hoops, and I wanted the band to help me rediscover my wildness.

Chuck and I were already in a jazz band together and pretty adept at the technical aspects of improvising, so, fast-forward thru lots of stephaniesid shows & repetition of the same songs… the band started improvising a lot. It was a natural jump - but now we were pulling from somewhere else: our own psyches, our own feelings.  And when we were engaged in it, there was this relationship-shift in the  band. We had to pay attention to each other, trust each other… to a greater extent than when we played songs. We had to listen. It was kind of scary, and maybe unintentional, where we found ourselves.

But therein, by god, I found my wildness.

When stephaneisid broke up (haaa, don’t ask!), I only cared about improvisation, musically. Chuck and I were divorcing, I was moving out of my beloved house, and I felt like I was driving a car in thick fog and could only see 2 feet in front of me at any given time. But I could see as far as those 2 feet, and I knew how to improvise. I  organized a new all-improvisational project, and dubbed it Pink Mercury, as a way to name (not surprisingly?) the soft, authentic underbelly I fancy we all contain underneath the armor of adulthood we carry around…this mercurial, liquid, emotional inner life. Back when I started stephaniesid, I was looking for a gooey center. But by this time, it seemed the goo was all I was. I was exposed, broken open, liquid. And I thought… Here I am, inside my biggest fear. Ok, I thought. I wanted to know the wild, I got the wild. Be here now.

When the members of Pink Mercury gather to play, it’s with no preconceived chords, lyrics, or rhythmic structures… an exercise in musical nudism, so to speak.  Nobody’s worked out a cool lick for the bridge, no one can hide behind the familiarity of a tune.  So what drives the whole thing is a precarious, vulnerable, 2-feet-of-visibility leap-of-faith.  One person ventures a fledgling phrase, as if posing a tentative solution to the unknown. The others are tasked with “yes-and-ing” (like improv comedy). No contribution is wrong; all participants must be willing to submit to, accept what’s currently being ‘said’—and also to risk leading a little too.  Submit, lead. Submit, lead.

What a society!  The only law is that we have to accept all ideas and work together.  No one gets to say how it goes, or if it will be “good”.  On the best nights, when we’re all alive and present enough to play both roles well, I think, “We’re building something here. This feels promising, solid.”  Sometimes things feel less certain. But even then, we’re iterating, experimenting, learning… practicing vulnerability, leadership, freedom, feeling. Building muscles for use in the wild.

Connection is a muscle. Freedom is also one. Vulnerability is one. FEELING is one.

I know you’re picking up what I’m putting down here: it’s all a big metaphor for participation in a family, a team, or a democracy (haaa- there it is).  I play improvisatory music to build and maintain the muscles it takes to interact with other people in a way that (ideally) builds, supports, harmonizes, yes-ands.  And when I’m sitting in my therapist’s office and I’m so frustrated about somebody not doing something the way I want them to… when I complain about my country not doing what I want it to do, and I say all this is affecting my inner peace and my ability to focus, to build, to harmonize, to make good art… my therapist asks, “Are you not an improviser?”

Nothing is certain, but we can build muscles. Especially when things are decidedly uncertain.

Next Saturday 6/20, if you live anywhere near Asheville, NC USA, please join Pink Mercury: Merrick Noyes, Jack Victor, Evan Veasey, and me in the afternoon (4-6:30pm-ish) at the very welcoming One World West.  We’ll be even more improvisatory, because we’ll be a band member short, so prepare for max MacGyverness. Kids and dogs are allowed at these early shows, and I think they even let you bring food in.

Let’s improvise.—Steph <3

PS - Looking ahead, We’ll be playing AVL Sounds Fest August 6-9 (exact day/time TBA) and… very special announcement about September coming soon!